Seize The Day


No this is not a Robin Williams post

Carpe Diem
Seize the day
I don’t think it’s a cliche or a platitude. Those would be sayings like :

Live in the moment
Stop and smell the roses
Don’t worry be happy
Tomorrow is another day
Things will work out in the end
Time heals all wounds
Take two aspirin and call me in the morning

Until I faced a possible death sentence illness, seizing the day was just something I equated with the movie “Dead Poet’s Society”. And I still don’t have a good handle on how to “seize” (though I do have some experience with seizures).

I had not seen my older sister in 3 years. She lives states and states away. We both had a very difficult 2013. I was one of those chemo and radiation patients who did not want anyone to visit, nor did I have much of an appetite for telephone chats while I was feeling like “something the cat dragged in” (excuse the cliche). Some people were able to tip toe in… but they were few and far between (is that another cliche?).

Today driving back from the airport at 5:15 am, (had just dropped my older sister off for her flight home), I was feeling a bit spacey but with a kind of heightened awareness. It was pre dawn. The streets were empty of any activity – few cars, no people (well maybe a stray dog walking it’s owner), and the silence was loud. Then I noticed the full moon with what looked like a shawl shrouding it. The effect was, (here I go again with over used phrases), awe inspiring. And I seized it.

*I don’t remember to “live in the moment” and relish it often enough. Maybe it’s like a muscle that has to be built up over time
*I don’t smell the roses – I don’t really care for their smell
*I can’t not worry – it’s hard wired in my system. And then there’s that “Sword of Damocles” hanging over me until I can call myself a cancer survivor.
*While tomorrow IS another day, I don’t want to throw away today too soon.
*Why do I need to wait till the end for things to work out?
*While time may lessen the bite of things, some wounds just can’t be healed.

But seizing the day… I think that’s something I might get good at… with time.

As far as taking two aspirin, let me know if that’s ever worked for anyone.


Helicopter Parents


My good friend said I should write an hour a day. This recommendation, ( or rather her assignment), was a result of my whining that I didn’t know what to do with myself and feared that after 18 months of going through radiation, chemo and adjusting to post treatment ennui with always a positive and proactive outlook, I was beginning to fall into a pit of “what’s it all about Alfie”.
We agreed that first, to hold me accountable, I would send her a list of 10 topics as writing possibilities. I sent her 9. She sent me back an additional 5. That gives you a clue as to my dear friend’s MO: caring, creative, take charge, demand and expect results. Must be why she’s a successful entrepreneur and I’m a still struggling post cancer treatment patient with a passion for facilitating employee development workshops.
For my first writing exercise I’m going to share my thoughts on “Why Teacher’s and the FAA find Helicopter Parents a nuisance”. By the way, I am a Helicopter Parent.
One of The FAA’s responsibilities is to ensure safety in the air by keeping aircraft moving through the skies without interference, i.e. hovering or getting in the way of the aircraft is frowned upon.
Teachers are responsible for educating our children so that they are able to read, write, problem solve, make effective decisions and a whole host of other things.
Helicopter Parents, mostly from the Baby Boomer generation, are over engaged, over protective, over concerned and over involved with their children’s every move, i.e., they’re hovering and interfering, something not appreciated by Teachers.

To better relate to these Baby Boomer Parents, you need to understand what influenced them in their formative years. CNN’s series “The Sixties” is a great way to learn about that generation. We grew up with the JFK assassination, the Beatles, the Women’s Movement, Neil Armstrong, Roe vs Wade, The Civil Rights Movement, Barbie, Viet Nam, and those are just a few of the highlights of our formative years. We’re competitive, we question authority, we’re optimistic, idealistic, seek $$, titles, advancement and have difficulty delegating.
It’s no surprise that when raising our children nothing would get in the way of our efforts to clear them a path to success. We removed all barriers to ensure this, to control their lives, to protect them from pain, disappointment, or mistakes. We did EVERYTHING for them. We are sometimes known as The Bodyguard, The Consumer Advocate, The Rescuer, The Agent. How could we have known that we were creating a myriad of future issues for our children?
Dealing with my post treatment issues has helped me some to back away from “interfering” in my daughter’s every move, but it’s a daily challenge and my often throbbing tongue, ( from biting back my words) is proof of that
It’s a good thing I don’t have a pilot’s license.